The 1st Affair:
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon."
"You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!"
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The 2nd Affair:
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"
The wife smiled sweetly and replied, " Not this time!"
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The 3rd Affair:
A mortician was working late one night.
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!
"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity."
So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.
"I have to show you something you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.
"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead?!?!"
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The 4th Affair:
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.
"Hurry," she said, "Stand in the corner."
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh, it's a statue." she replied. "The Smith's bought one and I liked it so much I got one for us, too."
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.
"Here," he said to the statue, "Have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."
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The 5th Affair:
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."
"One Cent?" the man thought.
He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"
"A nickel," the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaime d the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replied,
"The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."
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The 6th Affair:
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to," his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."
2007.09.05 21:00
Six Classic Affairs /미자남
조회 수 186 추천 수 36 댓글 0
번호 | 제목 | 글쓴이 | 날짜 | 조회 수 |
---|---|---|---|---|
390 | 설악의 시인 이성선(1941-2001) | 김영교 | 2005.06.13 | 561 |
389 | 어머니의 총기 | 김영교 | 2005.06.25 | 456 |
388 | 행복한 생각들/뺨 봉변 | 나암정 | 2005.07.12 | 249 |
387 | 생각은 인생의 소금이다 | 김영교 | 2005.07.22 | 56 |
386 | 팀 웍의 힘(기러기 떼) | 김영교 | 2005.07.26 | 312 |
385 | 이민수기 | 김영교 | 2005.07.27 | 611 |
384 | 시인교수 분석 | 김영교 | 2005.07.28 | 119 |
383 | 그 이, 내가 아는 (7월 31일 2005) | 김영교 | 2005.08.01 | 187 |
382 | 병이 없는 인생 | 김영교 | 2005.08.02 | 93 |
381 | 웃음요법 | 김영교 | 2005.08.02 | 140 |
380 | 그곳에 가면 | 김영교 | 2005.10.08 | 83 |
379 | 사진반에서(편지) | 김영교 | 2005.10.04 | 96 |
378 | 하루하루 | 김영교 | 2005.08.15 | 83 |
377 | 인생의 지도 | 고아의 편지 | 2005.10.03 | 87 |
376 | 꽃동네 소식을 담아(8월 20, 2005)* | 김영교 | 2005.08.25 | 141 |
375 | 어느 시인 신발에 달린 바퀴 (구자애시인께) | 김영교 | 2005.08.25 | 396 |
374 | 산 사나이에게 폭로한 이 부실함. | 김영교 | 2005.08.25 | 131 |
373 | 밝은 미소 듬뿍 안고 온 ( 미미 박 편) | 나암정 | 2005.08.27 | 153 |
372 | 삼경차(三經茶 | 고아의 편지 | 2005.09.08 | 294 |
371 | 인간의 마음을 사로잡는 원칙 | 데일 카네기 | 2005.09.09 | 107 |