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2011.03.18 09:13

Self-Assessment

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Self-Assessment
(for the memoir "The Last Note" & the review "Picasso's Poetry")



Wolran Kim, Feb.2011



Writing is a kind of catharsis. It is also the task of elimination of accumulated waste in my mind. But there is a much more sophisticated process than mathematical formulas, which is waiting for me from beginning to the end. Even though I make my own context, there are numerous invisible laws that I should follow. It is the most painful paradox. Because the castle which I built on blank file, shows the completeness of creative work particularly from foundation to touch up.

A memoir, The last note is a lyrical piece. ‘The last note’ means the highlight to determine the quality of the perfume, and I compared this with the age after mid-life. The last note has a unique fragrance itself pass through the top note and middle note of perfume. Everybody gets old and looks for their sense of values in life. My priority is that I should live my own life not for family, system, wealth, honor, custom, or convention. If we were not satisfied to something—relationship, family, job, whatever—we should find out the right way to live before everything goes too crazy. I tried to seek the ego through my past experiences in this piece. I described each scene naturally for me, but I worry about that would be over description, because I used mixed metaphor with poetic emotion all the time. I didn't use dialog except one scene which American kid teasing Korean boy's smell, because this is much more lyric writing.

This is all about reflecting on my experiences which were receiving a gift, trip to mother country, first features of an immigrant, hurting from culture shock, mid-life crisis, self-esteem, and adult ego state. I dramatized a couple of scenes in this memoir, and I think these adaptations are not big deals, because I am the person who thinks the memoir should wear proper dress with attached wings to fly far away. Memoirists often take some liberties with the "truth" such as "Do memoirs have to be true?" by Jenny Rough. My writing style is full of poetic expression, so it might be unrealistic or too imaginary. I wonder I am an idealist who never steps on real land especially on a blank file. The perfume gift drew me down to the bottom of my consciousness. The perfume means hiding our natural human weakness which inborn and bitters of life. I used four sources to support my memoir: Origin of perfume; history about Cleopatra and Nero; Gabrielle Chanel's word; and the book Perfume by Patrick Suskind. One of my weaknesses of writing is that I often delete transitional sentences, and I have very little regard for readers. Also I rush to write over emotional expression without enough adjustment.

Now, let me talk about the review, Picasso poetry. I chose this book, because these both relates to my individual interests and our theme also, even if I had better broaden my sense of genre. I don't want to limit myself to the more common book, but I am truly interested in this book. And there is no excuse even if the reason of choice of this topic, considered to my laziness. A review for some specific area should base on the basic knowledge and special interest.

I started with the motivation to read and the prejudices with first impressions of Picasso poetry. And I also quoted one of author's prefaces which are one of the issues; I talked about my opinion about the translation of literature, in the review. I avoided common recommendations of author, because Picasso is so much more famous as a representative painter of the 20th century. However, I addressed a little bit of background information for analysis of his poems which will be expand in this review. I compared the thought of ordinary people about Picasso paintings with relationship to his poems. I evaluated his poetry through comparing Guernica, his masterpiece of painting, with writings about Guernica from the perspective of personal view who loves poetry. I also attached a few representative expressions for explaining his literary tendency which synthesized and put back together.

I lead my opinion that Picasso's poetry is only his own unique style, and I mentioned brief comparison with Salvador Dali’s (1904~1989) Hidden Face. I quoted a couple of articles which insisted Picasso's literature should be recognized under reevaluation to support my opinion that the value of Picasso poetry might become next to his paintings. Picasso died twenty-eight years ago, but his article works are still being evaluated for further recognition of their worth. I concluded the value of art which human's short life left them, with connecting our theme, Death and Aging.

Something makes me ashamed every time when I finish, that is writing. Is this just the mid-term portfolio? The final is still a long way to go? My professor says this every end of tons of assignment sheets and this mention makes me cry; "Happy writing!"



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