Seventh Story: Reunion after 30 years Next morning, Dr. Kang called McKnight over phone. After returning from the mental hospital last night, he gave a deep thought on this matter and he was assured that Mark is the same boy who threw a punch on poor Sukho so many years ago. "Hello. Mr. Mark McKnight! Haven't we met long time ago?" "Yes I am Mark and you are the boy, Sukho?" "Yesso long since we met! No less than 45 years passed!" "Yes indeed, Dr. Kang!" "Then what happen to Soonhae who married you and came to US?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Then old bitter memory came back alive. It was 1976 when Dr. Kang graduated from medical school. He conceded Soonhae to his best friend, Chong-il. So Chong-il was dating Soonhae without worrying about Sukho. Only his heart was racing towards her. Then during may of next year 1978, Chong-il and Sukho both were dispatched to Vietnam to be stationed at Quy Nhon. They spent a year at the base. Both were scheduled to return home by the August of next year, 1979 and upon returning, Chong-il and Soonhae were planning wedding ceremony. Lieutenant Kang wished the best for Soonhae by marring Chong-il and that was enough happiness for him. However ---- It was a day in July, 1969 which is just two weeks before their scheduled return home. He received a letter from Soonhaea sad new of her grandfather's death. The letter was followed by another piece of mail from Mark it was wedding announcement for Mark McKnight and Soonhae Han on July 21st, 1969. Wedding would be held in Chungjoo Cathedral. "What? What? Soonhae marry Mark?"Both Chong-il and Sukho were in big shock. "Marrying Mark means Soonhae betrays me!" Chong-il wailed. But there was little to do as they were still stationed in Vietnam. Soonhae married Mark and two days later, they left country and headed for United States. Soon, both returned home from Vietnam and Chong-il lamented about the loss. Nut he was rather very angry to Soonhae who betrayed him on her marriage bow. Watching Chong-il crying, Sukho was equally disheartened. But what could they do? This might be the fate of her and him. Finally, Chong-il gave up on her and both started live their lives by undergoing medical specialty training from the university hospitals of respective alma-Mata. But still Sukho's heart was not cooled enough to totally forget Soonhae. Her memory and affection were still living in his heart. "Then, I will go to United States. I will follow her and though I can not marry her, I can live at a close distance. If not, at least I can watch her from distance." So Sukho packed up and immigrated to US. First he settled in Brooklyn, New York, where majority of resident were blacks or Puerto Ricans. Jews made big money from them. Dr. Kang stayed at the Down State Medical Center in Brooklyn for four years and was just longing for a chance to meet Soonhae. His broken heart was bleeding. ~~~~~~~~~~~ Back to the present, Sukho met Mark again after his first encounter at the psychiatric hospital. This is the same Mark who married Soonhae and flew out to US while Sukho was in Vietnam. "So, Mark! Tell mewhere is Soonhae who accompanied you to US?" "Dr. Kang! Didn't you know? You already met her!" "What! I met her?" "Yes you did. And you treated her! My wife, Rose McKnight is Soonhae!" "Really? Rose? Is Rose the…" He could not believe himself. This depressed, speechless and dirty woman with twisted face was Soonhae! He was longing for her past 30 year and she showed up as Rose! His heart fell and he was in a shock. "OhRose is Soonhae? Soonhae!" "Yes you are right!" Mark confirmed. He recalled back the past 30 years and he was full of regret and resentment. The past 30 years flashed back instantly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Financially strained Sukho Kang managed to graduate from his medical school on February 21st, 1967. What a day! On that day, both Sukho and Chong-il were attending graduation ceremony held at different universities but at nearly the sametime. Sukho expected only his father would be coming to graduation ceremony to congratulate him. He just assumed that Soonhae would attend Chong-il's graduation as he was her real boy friend. Sukho recited the Oath of Hippocrates with his fellow graduates and finally became a fresh new medical doctor starting his career with pride. His father rushed to Sukho and firmly embraced him saying, "I am so proud of you, Sukho. I am sorry that you have had difficult times because of my insufficient support for your education. I could not provide you enough money for tuition and living expense…" He was weeping. Sukho told him gently. "No, Dad! I can not thank you enough!" "I thank you for saying so. I wish your mother is here!" "Mother!" In that moment, his dead mother's face was closing upin his sight. She sacrificed herself for her family since the family escaped from North Korea and she had lived such a tough life. While thinking about her, Sukho longed for the love of a woman. With his eyes closed, he was thirsting for a motherly tender love. He was chocking with tears-- "Oh mother, mother!" But at that moment he was hearing her voice. "Sukhocongratulations! You are a doctor now. I am so proud of you!" But it was the voice of Soonhae. Sukho could not believe himself. He expected her to be with Chong-il at S University but she was standing before him with a large bouquet. "Ohyou are Soonhae! So glad to see you!" He was extremely impressed by her presence and the large bouquet. Soonhae just completed her sophomore year and soon to be advancedto Junior standing. On that day, Sukho could feel that he won Soonhae over Chong-il. He was silently shouting to Soonhae. "Right SoonhaeI am a doctor now. I can support your good life with my job. Thank you forcoming here instead of Chong-il's graduation. I will love you forever." One month after the graduation, Sukho joined Army as a medical officer. But to his surprise, Chong-il also joined army instead of staying at his alma Mata as a trainee. "What? Chong-ilhow come you joined military? You should continue your traineeship!" "No I have my reasons. I will serve as a medic and then return to hospital as trainee." Sukho was surprise again and even was impressed when he knew why Chong-il joined army. Sukho joined army so that he could escape from his poverty but Chong-il did so that he can give a meaning to the death of his friend, Lieutenant Sungmin who was killedin a combat duty in Vietnam. On the day when both were departing for Vietnam, Soonhae came to the embarkation station to bid farewell. She treated both equally by saying, "Brotherbe careful. And be healthy!" Then she said something both men did not expected to hear. "I hate war. Due to the war, I lost my parents. And I also lost Hyunsook who would be my sister-in-law." She could not shake off the fond memory of Hyunsook who committed suicide three years earlier. "Why did she choose to kill herself? After my brother graduate from academy, she could have married him and enjoyhappy life but why?" Actually, when Sungmin volunteered for Vietnam combat duty, Soonhae strongly argued against it. "Brotherwhy are you going there? You have high chance to be killed you can die meaninglessly. So, why?" And sure enough, after a few months later, he was killed in a combat and he returned home in a small white box just as ash powder. The box was buried at a military cemetery on a snowy day. Soonhae was staggering back from the cemetery after the burial service and lost all her hope and will power to live after her only brother's death. She did not know where to go. "My brother, beloved Hyunsook all left mewhere should I be?" That moment, someone was holding her hand firmly and tenderly spoke. "SoonhaeI will always be with you!!" That was Sukho. Seeing him, Soonhae realized heroverwhelming loneliness and fatigue. She then leaned toward him. Sukho held her firmly so that she would not collapse and guided her to her rented house. Come to think of it, about a year ago, she was seeking support from Sukho after the burial service of Hyunsook. From that day on, Soonhae rarely talked but she confided to Sukho that she could fully understand the real loneliness. Whenever she felt so lonely, she was looking for Sukho or Chong-il. She wanted them be near her all the time. But they decided to leave her to be army medics. One day when the three had a farewell party at a beer tavern, Soonhae was sobbing "SukhoChong-il! You are leaving me alone and leave off! How can I live without you two?" She continued "Anyway, be careful while you are in service. I will wait for you two!" "She will wait for us!" Sukho was happy to engrave her word in his memory. Then, they went off to their respective army camps for military services. Sukho served at a small town deep in the mountain. Chong-il had more influential connection and stayed in a field hospital near the capital city. After several months of basic training, he was dispatched to his camp. Lieutenant Kang got a day off and went home to meet Soonhae. They met at the Chungjoo Cathedral stairway. As he climbed the stairs, he felt more self-confidence than beforethough still he was poor and his family was not prominent, as a doctor and officer in the army, he did not have to be ashamed himself. Sukho could not forget that meeting with Soonhae all his life. They met at the top of the stone stairs and they strolled around the cathedral and reached to the prayer chamber located in a satellite structure. In that cozy chamber, there was no one else. One large cross and the figures of saints painted on the stained glasses were visible. They sat there still then Soonhae broke silence. "Sukhoif you pray to Jesus, He will answer your prayeranswer everything… so let's pray to God." So they held hands and started praying silently. Sukho asked. "What did you pray about, Soonhae?" "Well I prayed for your success in the future. How about your?" "I prayed that you would be with me all the time." "With me?" "Yes, indeed." They finally embraced each other Sukho's heart pounded. 'OhI am embracing Soonhae!' And he kissed her. The Jesus on the cross and the saints painted on the glass plates were the witnesses of their love. "Soonhae I will wait for you forever. Only you, I will wait…" She did not reply but her heart was echoing his words. Then Sukho returned back to his army camp. The field hospital in that camp was very pitiful. It did not have enough medical equipments and drugs. Daily, he had very little to do as a medic. He killed time by drinking alcohol and eating fish soup served by enlisted men. He routinely heard the North Korean propaganda from their loud speakers. The propaganda invariably stated"North Koreans are living in a paradise provided by the great leader Kim Il Sung!" He got sick of this kind of mundane life style and remembered what Chong-il said "Hey Sukholet's go to Vietnam and revenge over the death of our dear friend, Sungmin!" If he refused, he could be regarded as a coward or betrayer of friendship. Recently, Soonhae and Chong-il openly dated and they also let others know they will get married soon. "We will marry as soon as I get out of military service!" One day, Chong-il told Sukho. "Really? Congratulations!" Sukho replied but in his mind, if for any reason this marriage would not becarried out, he would be next in line. He could not give up completely. That meant they were in a love triangle but much heavier weight to Chong-il than Sukho. As Sukho owed so much to Chong-il and his father for his education and living expenses, Sukho had no choice but giving up Soonhae for Chong-il and join Chong-il for his Vietnam duty. One important task was to console and encourage Soonhae she needed both young men for her moral support. They knew well that once she was left alone without theirprotection, Soonhae's courage would crumble. What Sukho worried more was the chance of Mark taking Soonhae. He could tolerate Chong-il marry her but not the other person! Mark was a potential danger for him. "While the tiger and lion are gone, a wolf takes prey?" So Lieutenant Kang met Soonhae one more time at Chungjoo. Soonhae knew Chong-ilwas scheduled to go to Vietnam but did not know Sukho would be on the same boat. Though Sukho was not a match for Chong-il or Mark, he wanted to win her heart. So he confided his feeling while speaking of his plan. "Soonhae I will be gone to Vietnam but will return soon. Please pray for me. Will you?" "What? Chong-il told me he is going and that is bad enough! Now you too? Why? Isn't my brother's death enough? Why you want to risk your life too?" "That is the reasonI want to pay back for the life of Sungmin. It will be just one yearno more!" "No, you shouldn't! Is your life that cheap?" "No -- that is not the reason. Please wait for me!" "If you both are gone, what should I do? How can I survive alone?" Her plea made Sukho very sad. If both candidates of her future husband were gone, she might choose Mark for her alternate support! "Don't worry Soonhaeand when I return . . . when …" "When your return? Then what?" Soonhae was baffled. "Welluntil I return don't leave don't go away!" Sukho meant to say 'Upon return, I will marry you!' but he couldn't dare to speak out because upon return, she would marry Chong-il. A week later on May 23rd of 1968, both Sukho and Chong-ilwere aboard a military transport heading to Vietnam. The destination was Quy Nhon as medics of Tiger Corp. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Since that fateful day, Sukho Kang had been a man of waiting waiting for Soonhae Han all his life wherever he went Vietnam, back to Korea then in US. All combined, 34 years of waiting was his life history. He was like a forget-me-not flower waiting for her letter or some news from her hanging on his memory with Soonhae at the Chungjoo prayer chamber. But he was more like a nameless flower never bloomed in the shadow of Chong-il. Now 34 years had passed and Soonhae, the angel he had been longing for so long, was not the Chong-il's but Mark's wife. But she was a bed-ridden woman at a psychiatric hospital suffering with depression and lost memory. What a shocking change! Her pretty and elegant complexion that reminded an angel from heaven was turned to a disheveled and never washed dirty face repulsive to anyone. Her beautiful smile now was turned to an expression of anger and hatred. Sukho, Dr. Kang, could not believe this sight and even was praying that he was mistakenthis woman, Rose, is not the Soonhae he waited all his life. "Markthen the woman patient, Rose, really is your wife? Was her name Soonhae Han?" "Yes, your are right. Also, I am so sorryRose, rather Soonhae lived with her depression since she set feet to United States. Dr. Kang-- I am fully responsible for her misery!" Mark was sincerely apologizing. "Oh-no. So Rose is Soonhae!" Dr. Kang could no longer hold his tears. "Soonhae! Do you know how long I have waited for you? How can this be!" But next thought firmly held him. "Soonhae! My heart is still with you. Yes I don't care how you look now. However dirty and miserable looking, you are still my love. I have never forgotten you for the past 30 years. Chong-il did not care for you and neither did Mark. Now I will be with you and fill your needs just like your grandfather took care of me long time ago. I am going to repay my debt to you!" Dr. Kang drove to the Brea Psychiatric Hospital and rushed to her ward. A blond nurse saw him and stopped him. "Dr. Kangyour patient improved a lot. I don't think you need to bother with her any more .." But Dr. Kang went to Rose and held her hands. "Rose uh-- Soonhae! It's me, it's me Sukho. I have been waiting for you all my life." "…" But Soonhae was silent and just staring at Sukho emotionlessly. "Soonhae I am Sukho. Don't you remember?" "…." Still she did not say a word and just stared at him without any word or expression. "Ohdreadful depression! She is looking at me but does not remember anything. She lost all her past memory!" Dr. Kang held her hands firmly again and mumbled. So all he gained from the visit was the confirmation that miserable Rose was Soonhae, herself. This pained his heart. The long wait for 34 years ended up like this! That afternoon, Dr. Kang met Dr. Yamashiro, her psychiatrist. Sukho told about her past and appealed for best treatment for her. Dr. Yamashiro comforted him and suggested several special regiments and Dr. Kang promised to follow his advises. That evening, he was crying while flipping through old photo album. He repeatedly thought about the miserable change of Soonhae's physical condition and the appearance of himself, unbelievably aged from the 34 year of wait. The wait was a waste! "Oh--What a reunion!"He could not sleep that night. Eighth Story: The maiden he met in Da Lat After Dr. Kang visited Soonhae at Brea Psychiatric Hospital, he could not sleep all night. Come to think of it, past 10 days were very eventful and it was like reliving past 60 years in a compressed time frame. The dawn broke for next morning and a typical windy and warm March weather in Southern California greeted him. Newspaper delivered in the morning had a story about captain Chung who rescued 96 Vietnamese boat people and had a hero's welcome in Vietnam town in Southern California finally returned back to Korea. "So Captain is now back to Korea to Geomoon-Island!" He already missed him. Suddenly, he remembered his meeting with Qin Le and James Nguyen in Vietnamese town. He wanted to see them and talk to them again. So instead of going to his clinic, he headed for Vietnam town. The town had flood of business sign written in Vietnamese but he had no problem to identify the church sign for Westminster Vietnamese Church. The blind reverend Qui Le was an associate pastor of church and joyfully greeted him. Traditionally in Vietnam, Buddhism was the most popular religion followed by Catholic and least popular was the protestant Christianity but in US, the order of popularity was more or less revered. This ethnic church did not have its church building and was renting an American church. But they provided an office space for Rev. Quin Le. Main reason Dr. Kang wanted to see Rev. Le was to check if he is the son of General Duong Le. "General Duong Le, the commander of Da Lat regimentis he your father?" To his delight, he confirmed his guess. "Yes indeedas you said, he was the commanding general of Da Lat regional army. When South Vietnam collapsed, he chose a death over surrendering to enemy. I understand he committed suicide with his revolver." "Oh I see. Reverend Lecan you recognize my voice?" "Your voice? Then have we met before?" "Yes. Do you remember the medical officer or Korean army, named Sukho Kang?" "Dr. Sukho Kang? A Daihan soldier?" "Yes. When you were captured by Viet Cong in Can Song area, I rescued you and escorted you to Da Lat." "Ahof course I remember! How much I wanted to meet you again! You are that Lieutenant Kang!" "Sure I am!" "I can not believe this! So we have been in the same town all this time!" "Yes, you are right. I can never forget you and your family." "Truly, we have a strong tie, Lieutenant Kang. You have saved our lives and also ruined our lives, too!" "I don't get it! I am your benefactor and also a destructor?" "Oh Lieutenant!Just like captain Chung saved 96 lives drifting in the ocean, you also saved our lives from Viet Cong attack. But you ruined us ….. well, I will tell you about it later." This was hard to believe. This blind pastor was the same boy whom Dr. Kang parted on late July of 1969 at Da Lat and it was the same year and month he bided farewell to Soonhae. Then 33 years had passed and suddenly, chance encounters brought two important persons closer to him. He met that beautiful girl, Soonhae as a mental patient and that dear boy, Qui as a blinded pastor. The war left big scars to many. "So you lost your sight, Reverend!" Dr. Kang changed subject. "Yes I became a blind. On June of 1975, we escaped Vietnam via South China Sea on a boat. Thanks to Captain Chung, we were rescued and transferred to a US navy ship of 7th fleet and eventually reached in America. After a period of refugee camp life, we settled in the city of Westminster. After high school, I was admitted to UCLA. But during my sophomore year, I was diagnosed as having brain tumor. It was a cancer in pituitary gland and with surgery, my life was spared but due to the damage in optic nerve, they could not save my sight. I felt like it is the end of my life." "So you were a student of UCLA?" "YesI had full of hope and ambition but was like falling over a cliff instantly. It was the same feeling of despair when our family was captured in Can Song. Same horrible feeling when we were drifting in the ocean waiting for death." "Reverend, please hold my handslike when you were saved at Can Song ... like when Captain Chung rescued you while drifting South China Sea. Yes- I remember when I arrived Can Song, I put cast on your broken wrist. When we bided farewell at Da Lat, we firmly promised to meet again. Yes now we are together again." Dr. Kang gripped Rev. Le's warm hands. At that moment, a Caucasian woman with Asian blood opened door and walked in. She introduced herself as Rev. Le's wife and told her name which drew Dr. Kang's attention. Her name was Dana Berini Obviously not a Vietnamese name. Rev. Le said. "This is my wife. She was born in Saigon. She is an Amerasian which means mixed blood between an American and an Asian." "Dana? What a beautiful name! Dana, I am Dr. Kang, rather Lieutenant Kang." "Yes I know you. My husband used talk about you a lot. A day in August of 1968, on his way from Da Lat to Hue, my husband was captured by Viet Cong and about to be killed when a group of gallant Korean soldiers of Tiger Corp rescued him. Lieutenant Kang arranged an ambulance to send my husband back to home. He also told me that you, Dr. Kang kindly saved his destitute sister before she was about to commit suicide. And that soldier and his sister eventually fell in love." "Are you talking about his sister, Ninh?" "Yes name of his love was Ninh." "AhDana!" Dr. Kang overwhelmed by his emotion and grasped her hand. "Dana--where is Ninh? Where can I find her?" Dana shook her head and said. "Didn't you know? Why don't you ask my husband? I would rather have him tell you about her." "What?" Sukho was startled and gripped by a bad omen. Rev. Le spoke. "Dr. Kanglet's have a coffee break first. I don't want to talk about it now." He left the room and his wife followed him. Then they did not come back for a long time. As Sukho could not wait indefinitely, he had to leave the pastor's office without seeing them. This is a bad start of a day. He felt so agitated. He had been waiting until his age of 60 for two women but news about both of them seemed not so good-- Soonhae turned out as a mental patient and Ninh Le obviously met a tragic fate. He felt like all his life was wasted nothing materialized deserving his long wait and wishes. ------------------------- On his way out of that Vietnamese church, he found a bench. He sat there and closed his eyes. In his closed eyes, he got the flashbacks to the past days about 36 years when he was graduating from medical school. After his graduation, he joined army as a medical officer as a mean to escape from his poverty. He stationed in a front base far away from his home and more importantly, away from his beloved Soonhae. Then at the urge of his best friend, Chong-il, he volunteered for Vietnam duty ending up in Quy Nhon. Soonhae worked for US Information Service Center after she graduated from college. Sukho met her couple of times before he left Korea for Vietnam. His farewell meeting with her in Chungjoo was sweet and memorable but when he met her again in Seoul, her attitude changed a lot. Her promise to wait for Sukho until he would return from Vietnam seemed fading. Her well paying job at the Information Service Center and association with well-to-do people seemed to have made her reluctant to go back to thrifty life. Her affection to the poor but once-loved Sukho had been cooled. As Sukho felt inferior to the other potential lovers, that is Chong-iland Mark, he felt desperate and forced his courage to confess his love to her while they met at a tavern near train station. "SoonhaeAs you know, I am heading for Vietnam duty. Would you write to me? I will wait for your letters. ". . ." "Why don't you answer? You will write to Chong-il, though. Wouldn't you?" "Sure I will. SukhoI used to love you but we are no longer kids. We can not live on our dreams. I concluded that we have different path of lives. So please do not expect anything from me while you are gone." "Do you mean you dislike me?" "No, I like you as a friend." "Then, you consented to Chong-il's proposal?" "…" "No answer againthat means you did!" Had a sinking feeling. He met Chong-il a few days ago and when Sukho asked about his relationship with Soonhae, Chong-il assured him that there was no firm commitment between him and Soonhae. At that time, Sukho still had glimmer of hopes. Come to think of it, Sukho could sense that recently, Chong-il and Soonhae were avoiding him. He pleaded again. "Soonhae -- I will become a trainee for specialist doctor upon my return from Vietnam. So can you wait for me? Just wait one year!" "Sukhoyou both are fools. My brother lost his life in Vietnam. Would it not be enough? Why you two are volunteering Vietnam duty? You both are deserting me. You don't care about me. So go ahead! I would not bother with you guys either. Dead or alive!" She ran away from the tavern and hailed a taxi and ran away. "Oh, my!" Sukho's feeble dream vanished and he became very sad. All his hope seemed evaporated completely. In his despair, he lingered on the tavern for more drinks and something to eat. When it got dark he left the tavern. That tavern happened to be near a red light district and Sukho was staggering up the street. Suddenly, he smelled strong perfume and heard a street girl pulling his arm. "Hey nice soldier. Would like to have a fun?" "What?" In his drunken eyes, that woman was Soonhae and he was delighted. "Oh you, Soonhae!" "No, no. I am not Soonhae. My name is Soonyoung. Call me Soonyoung!" "So you are not Soonhae?""No, I am Soonyoung." Sukho realized she was a street prostitute. "Oh boy. You are so drunk. Is this from a broken heart?" "Yes you are right. Lost love!" "You have a company. I also was kicked by a guy. That rat!" "Really!" Without too much thinking, Sukho was following her to a room in the row of shacks. Upon entering the dim-lit room, he thought she was crying. "Why are you crying, Soonhae?" "I told you many times. I am Soonyoung." "Soonyoung?" "Is your girl friend, Soonhae?""That is right." "Wellshe is gone. Now here I am your new lover." "No way. I am only waiting for Soonhae!" "Well, dear boyhold me tight. Undress me!" "Oh no, Soonhae, you can't" He took out some money from his wallet and threw to her. "Hey, I am not Soonhae! Soonyoung is here for you!" "No. Only Soonhae will wait for me. And I will wait for her forever." Sukho took deep breath sweating. But he was hearing another voice. "Hey Sukho. Maybe Soonyoung who is selling herself for money, maybe more innocent than Soonhae who rejects you just because you are poor! Soonyoung maybe better match for you. Why don't you take her and enjoy a night?" He struggled and said himself. "Ah, no,no. I will wait for Soonhae. She will choose Chong-il over me but who knowmaybe I have a chance someday in the future." And week later, he boarded a transport heading to Vietnam. It was May 23, 1968 when the mundane medics' duty at the frontline in Quy Nhon base camp started for Sukho and Chong-il. They were motivated to have revenge over the death of their dear friend, Sungmin. But it was not that simple. Rather. in this foreign land, everything including the lofty palm trees made Sukho homesick and depressed. One only consolation was that he shared a well-air conditioned quarter with Chong-il and they could talk. But soon, this comfort turned into a discomfort as Chong-il, though a close friend, was a rival for Soonhae. Sukho always thought he was no match to Chong-il in winning the heart of Soonhae, he kept a low profile before Chong-il. Just in case that unexpected series of events may lead to the separation between these to lovers, then Sukho might have a chance… After settling down in his military camp, Sukho wrote a long letter to Soonhae. Dear little sister, Soonhae It took me a while before I could settle down. I only now find a time to write you. First of all, I and Chong-il are hard pressed to pay back the death of your brother Sungmin by doing our duties diligently. But we are fighting war not just out of our personal feeling but rather to protect democracy from communism. . . . Soonhae I spend day after day here while only thinking about you. My heart toward you will never change. After I complete my duty here, I will go home with pride and will meet you. Please wait for that day! May 30th, 1968 From Sukho After sending out this letter, Sukho was waiting for the reply mail. He longed for the reply letter from Soonhae more than anything but days passed and for next two months, no mail was coming from her. Meanwhile, the fighting between Korean troops and Viet Cong intensified and at each battle, there were many casualties including killed and wounded soldiers transported back to the field hospital. Needless to say, the medics got very busy with heavy case load to take care of. Actually they were so busy they did not have a chance to take a leave to downtown Saigon for drinks or girls. So Sukho's only hope was the reply mail from Soonhae which never came. After two months of silence, Sukho felt desperate. He remembered the scene of his last meeting with Soonhae right before he left Korea to Vietnam. She behaved very cold and without hesitation, she ran out of the tavern and took a taxi without even looking back. The more he thought about the time, he was convinced that her attitude changed a lot since she had a job at US Information Service Center. And as her working place was closer to Chong-il's, she ought to have more time to date him. Her affection was very surely leaning toward Chong-ilnot Sukho. She hinted that when she said, "Sukhowe have a different path of our lives. You are different from Chong-iland I knew him before I knew you. You and I should give him some priority." "So she now loves Chong-il, not me!" Sukho had a chance to confirm that fact. About 3 months after they started Vietnam service duty. One afternoon, Chong-ilwas out to convoy wounded soldiers and he was alone in the quarter. Sukho happened to see a couple of letters from Korea. They were placed on top of Chong-il's desk and come to think of it, Chong-il intentionally left there so that Sukho can see it. There were over ten letters from Soonhae in Seoul all addressed to Chong-il. "So, they have been writing letters behind my back! She wrote only to Chong-il!" He peeked an open letter and it said; "Chong-il, my love I could not stop my tears while reading your letter. I was move by your message saying you are thinking about me all the time. Stay healthy and meet you again. I love you as much as you do love me!" Sukho took a deep breath. Soonhae's face was looming over him. Then he picked up another a letter dating back a few days earlier. "Dear Chong-il! I have loved you two in my life and even now, I am torn between you. But we are no longer kids innocently playing together. We all passed the age of school kids and each one of use is working in a field of specialization. I am sensing my urgency to choose between you and Sukho. This is very painful to me to choose one over the other. But I decided to choose you over Sukho. Whenever I think of Sukho, my heart pains and just wish him the best. Why did I choose you? Because we have been known for so long and I understand there was an agreement between your father and my grandfather for our union. So on the night I bid farewell to Sukho, I told him that we have different paths of life and we had to go on separate way." While reading this letter, Sukho could understand what Soonhae was her mind set when she made this decision. 'Soonhaeyou did make a wise decision. Chong-il deserves to be your mate and I don't. Also I owe so much to his father and your grandfather so it is natural that I concede. Too bad I even have competed with Chong-il over you.' Suddenly, his eyes got wet. He mumbled; "SoonhaeI concede but in case you have a change of heart, just remember I am there waiting for you. I will be there whenever and wherever you need me." Then a sour feeling erupted in his heart. "Chong-il you are my friend, a very close one. Why didn't you tell me about this? But rather than being angry, I would rather bless you for your happiness." He couldn't dare to read any more letters from Soonhae to Chong-il. That evening, there was another piece of mail delivered to Chong-il. As usual, it was from Soonhae. To Sukho, his agony over Soonhae was over once he knew about their relationship and once he made up his mind. It was like the train passed the dark tunnel into bright sun. That evening, when Sukho met Chong-il returning from convoy duty, he sincerely congratulated him about the prospect of marrying Soonhae. "Chong-il I really congratulate your commitment to SoonhaeI just wished I knew about it earlier. Soonhae is a great woman and you two deserve each other!" "OhThank you so much, my friend. So you knew our relationship already!" "Yes, I found it today. I know you two are perfect match!" So the awkwardness due to such complex relationship was dissolved by this conversation and since that incident, Chong-il frequently shared letters from Soonhae. But as time passed, in the heart of Sukho, affection toward Soonhae was deepening. Unexpected event occurred. What was it? There is a beautiful city named Da Lat which is about three hour drive from Saigon. This city is surrounded by high mountains and one can find a serene lake in the midst of city. At northeastern part of city, there is a spectacular waterfall that attracts a lot of tourists and is a favored place for honeymooners. At the southern part of the city, there was a military academy for South Vietnamarmy and army command headquarter was nearby. The commanding officer of this headquarter, General Duong Le had very strong political power and was expected to gain control over the whole country. But unexpectedly, his son and daughter were kidnapped by Viet Cong on their way to their grandmother's house in a historic city named Hue. They were dragged to a small town named Can Song. Despite his strong power, General Le could very little to do to free his children. He did not want to make this kidnapping public as it mightendanger the lives of his children and in case they could not be freed in time, he would risk his reputation as an able commander. General Le requested to the commanding officer, General Kim of Korean Tiger Corp stationed in Quy Nhon for a secret rescue mission of his children. General Kim gladly consented and dispatched special force to Can Song. The special force successfully rescued them and brought them to the Korean army field hospital at Quy Nhon. The 21-year old daughter, Ninh, was a university student in Da Lat and was in a very miserable shapeshe was gang-raped and beaten badly by kidnappers. All over her body including her eyes had bruise marks. The 8 year-old son also was beaten badly and had broken wrist from beating. Medics put cast on his broken wrist and he was mentally recovering fast and soon ate and talked normally. But his sister's condition was not as good. She was completely devastated by the ordeal and she was so shamed by the molestation she got, it almost drove her into insanity. Medical staffs had to give sedatives to prevent her from suicide attempts. Savagery of Viet Cong was retold by task force members from Can Song. Viet Cong troops would mutilate villagers not sympathetic to them. Villagers were speared alive. If the rescue mission was delayed just a bit, the two children would have been killed. What a timing! After 3 more days at Quy Nhonfield hospital, the two children were ambulanced back to Da Lat. At the morning conference of medical officers, the chief officer commanded Sukho; "Lieutenant KangI order you a special mission. Convoy the daughter and son of General Le back to their home in Da Lat. The transporting ambulance is relatively well guarded, but there is a constant danger of Viet Cong attacks." So this time, it was Sukho, not Chong-il, who rode the ambulance for transport. It was a welcome break for Lieutenant Kang needing some changes from his daily routine. Inside the ambulance, fully armed Lieutenant Park was riding on front seat, and a corporal with machine gun was sitting on bench seat with the boy. On the other side of bench, Lieutenant Kang and miserablelooking Ninh were sitting. The ambulance passed through forest of palm trees and then a deserteddusty road. Whenever it hit a pot hole, the ambulance shook violently. Soon the girl who was dozing leaned on the shoulder of Lieutenant Kang. To Sukho, it was like an angel from heaven lost her way then finally found a resting place on his shoulder. "This innocent girl, who is the daughter of commanding officer, general Le and a university student, had to go through the ordeal. How sad her innocence being violated!" This thought made him very angry. Though it was a war but how can anyone justify such savagery against their own people? Then he had an illusive image of savage Viet Cong soldiers mutilating villagers then followed by the vision of his dear friend, Sungmin killed in action at Pleiku. In his illusive vision, Sungmin was crying and calling for Sukho. "Oh, there is no difference between Koreans and Vietnamesethey commit savage fratricides. What a shame!" Then his thought drifted away to a story he read long time age. It was a short novel titled, "The stars" by Alphonse Daudet. Oh that star, star, … In his imagination, one of the stars was resting on his shoulder. The story was about a night in a mountain range near Lyon of Southern France. A shepherd boy was living alone tendering sheep, cows and goats. Once in a while, the owner's servant would bring in food and other necessities and he was the only other human in the mountain. He longed for more human touch and thirsting for the news of the town down the mountain. The boy visited the town occasionally and had chances to glance the owner's daughter. She was an angel to the boy and wished to meet her personally. At nights, he was gazing the starry sky and to him, she was one of the stars at the distant sky. Sky was filled with numerous constellations like Big Dipper, Orion and Lions. The Milky Way was like a river of milks. Sounds of insects and birds in the wilderness made perfect music. God created the world and He composed all the natural music. Everything in the nature was his teacher. Then one day, unexpected happened. That angel daughter was pulling adonkey carrying the food and other material. With his dream came true, the shepherd boy was very excited and guided her around the mountain ranch and finally showed his living quarter. "What? Are you living in this horrible spot?" She was surprised. "Wellto me this is perfect place. At night, I lay here and gaze the sky. And I hear all the music made by animals and insects. Once in a while, wild animals invade here and I chase them out. The nature teaches me everything that I need to know." "Oh really?" Unimpressed, she left the mountain with donkey. "Ahmy angel left me!" He felt so empty and recalling the image of this pretty angel. But, that night, there was a heavy storm in the mountain area and she could not cross streams swollen by sudden downpourand had to turn back to the mountain top. She had to spend a night in his shake. The shepherd boy gave his bed to her and was guarding outside. She was scared of this deserted mountain and all the noises from outside terrified her. She could not sleep and so decided to walk out and join the boy. Then she was listening to the story of nature and stars he was telling. Stars, stars… they were so beautiful and the nature was so pure; and as pure was the boy who grew up in this nature. "Star what a beauty. And so pretty is the nature .."She mumbled then being so tired, she fell asleep leaning on his shoulder.The boy was thinking; "One of the stars in the far away sky lost her way and now resting on my shoulder!" "That's right. This maiden is a star in the sky and lost her way. Now she found a resting place on my shoulder inside an ambulance on our way to Da Lat." Every second was precious to Sukho holding a star resting on his shoulder. He did not dare to move but in his illusion, savage faces of Viet Cong appeared. They were gang raping her. "You savage!" He shouted. "What is matter, officer?" The startled corporal gotten stiff thinking Sukho saw perpetrator outside. "No, nothingdoesn't mind!" He replied but by this commotion, the girl, who was soundly sleeping, woke up. "What is happening? Any Viet Congs?" She was terrified. "No no, I am sorry. Nothing is wrong. Sorry I made noise." "Well, I am relieved. I thought we were ambushed." "Sorry again. By the way, I am Lieutenant Kang, a medical officer. Are you ok now?" "Yes officer. My name is Ninh Le and thank you for rescuing us from danger." "Oh, Don't mention it. Rescue action was done by our fighting unit. We avoided further disaster in a nick of time." "…" "Ninh, you are so pretty. Like an angel …" "Did you say I am pretty, officer?" "Yes, I did, lady." "Officer once I also wanted to be a doctor. I wanted be pediatrician treating children." "Then what are you studying now?" "I major in French literature at Da Lat University. I want to be a poet." "Poet?" "But officernow, I am, I am .." She could not finish and started sobbing. She was crying on his shoulder. The ambulance shook violently when it hit bumps on the road and Ninh stumbled. Sukho held her firmly. Due to her ordeal from Viet Cong encounter, she was resigned to the thinking that her shamed and disgraced life was finished. Sukho could understand her. So he said kindly. "Ninh forget everything. It was not your fault. You are only a victim. Physical insult you experience will be short lived. Don't let it become a perpetual mental scar. Ninh! To me you are a pure and beautiful virgin. To me you are an angel without any blemish. You are clean. Don't let others think otherwise." ". . . " "Whatever others say, I know you are pure. So don't worry and go to sleep in peace!" "Thanks you so much." Ninh was crying. Then the brother sitting at the opposite bench spoke. "Thank you so much, Korean Doctor. But can you tell me what is going to happen to my arm?" "Oh was your name Qui? You are a handsome boy. You have a cast on your wrist it will take six weeks before you can fully recover." "Six weeks? That is too long!" He seemed to be disappointedbut relieved to know he will be cured completely. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ At about 1 PM, the ambulance arrived at Da Lat. It was a very beautiful city situated in a valley and surrounded bydense trees. But even this beautiful city was affected by the war. Many structures were destroyed and numerous old French styled houses were deserted. Still he could enjoy the beauty of city view. Another spectacular sight was a lake in the middle of the city. Sukho was impressed by the beauty of the lake and its surroundings. Its name was Ho Xuan Huong meaning Spring Fragrance Lake. As the name implied, the lake exerted the fragrance of beauty with crystal clear water. Around the lake shore were many French style mansions and Buddhist temples. Even during the war, cruising boats for tourist were sailing over the serene water. "Wow beautiful Vietnam. Da Lat is a jewel!" Sukho could not stop admiring. Even more beautiful was the resident of General Le. It was built at a hill overlooking the lake and full of flowers and plants. Despitemany armed guards were visible around house, the place was like a paradise. Though he was a tough soldier and commander, General Le was a normal, caring father. He was weeping for his kids but now he could stop crying as they returned safely. Knowing all parents are same whether in Korea or Vietnam, Dr. Kang became equally emotional thinking about his mother who passed away a long time ago and his widower father who worked as a church guard. "Thank you so much! I am Brigadier General Le, the commandant of this region. I can not thank enough for bringing our children back safely." "SirI am a medical officer, Lieutenant Kang. This is an administrative officer, Lieutenant Park. It was our pleasure!" "Please come over here. Have some tea and fruit as snack and we will have dinner together. Stay tonight in my house and leave early tomorrow morning. Make sure to pass my gift to General Kim of Tiger Corp. I am very impressed by the gallantry of Korean soldiers!" That evening was a memorable one for Korean soldiers the dinner was a magnificent and there were plenty of drinks to enjoy. They could also appreciate the beauty of French style furniture. But most impressive wasthe elegance of Ninh in her traditional costume. "Wow- Ninh Le!" Right after her ordeal, on the way to Da Lat, she had a miserable shape but now after taking bath and applying make up, her figure was breathtaking. Sukho thought ; "After taking care of herself, a woman can be so differenther transformation after regaining her peace by returning home and having family support is so wondrous." He looked at her again. She was really an angel descended from heaven. She looked slim, maybe weighing about 80 lbs and 5 to 6 feet tall. Ninh was 21 year old college student at Da Lat University majoring French literature and was a Buddhist. Her brother Qui was 8 and half years old and was attending elementary school. Dr. Knag wondered why the sibling had so much age difference but it turned out that Ninh's mother was of French origin and died at her age 29 when Ninh was only 5. General Le remarried about 10 years ago to a Vietnamese woman who gave birth to Qui. That means Ninh was a semi-orphan who lost her mother when she was very young and obviously lived a lonely life. Sukho could understand the loneliness as his own mother passed away at his young age. He felt the sympathy toward Ninh who underwent same kind of solitude as that of himself. Then he reminded Soonhae in Korea. She lost both of her parents during the Korean war and to Sukho, the two women overlapped in his sympathetic care. "Oh Soonhae and Ninhhow lonely would you have been after losing your mother!" The boy, Qui was very curious about Korea and kept asking about the country. How big was the country? How was the weather? Was the country pretty? Could you find students resembling him? Then he showed his own room and even bragging about his sister Ninh saying she was a prettiest woman in the world. Equally elated was General Le. He was an ambitious general and a Buddhist and naturally, he felt so good after the safe return of his own children. In his drunken voice, he said "Whenever you have time, stop by here. I feel so good to meet you young men from Korean. You are Dr. Kang- right? I hope you open your medical clinic in Saigon or Da Lat. Anyway, thank you again." "Thank you for your hospitality." Dr. Kang replied and glanced at Ninh. She was beautiful. She was smiling and nodding the agreement of her father's comment about doing his practice in Vietnam. "Oh Ninh!" Behind her pretty smile, he could read her loneliness and yearning for her lost mother. Later in the evening, Sukho found Ninh crying she was sobbing with a backdrop of the beautiful scene of city trees and many structures including Buddhist temples and Catholic cathedrals. The mixed images of Ninh smiling and then crying occupied Sukho's mind all night and he could not sleep. Early next morning, Lieutenants and his men bid farewell to the family. Upon the safe return to the base, they passed the gift from General Le to General Kim. These two days were filled with new experience for Lieutenant Kang. Sukho was preoccupied by the image of Ninh and the trip to Da Lat felt like a journey to heaven. That evening, Chong-il showed another letter from Soonhae. "You mean I can read her mail?" "Sure, Sukho. I think you should read this. Actually, Soonhae wants you to read this letter." "Really?" "Yes indeed. And I am sorry, Sukho." The letter was like this; Chong-il by now, we should tell everything about our relationship to Sukho. So please tell him that I like him as my dear friend. Chong-il please take care of yourself. As soon as you return home, I would like to arrange our wedding ceremony. Let's have our own family and our baby! Oh dear Chong-il I love you so much." Your love, Soonhae Sukho could not finish the reading. He moaned; "Ah Soonhae this is an end to me. Do you know how much I wanted you? To me, a day to wait for you is like one thousand years. My affections had been just to you. Nevertheless, I will wait. Even if you marry Chong-il and have your children from him, I will still wait for you." That was another sleepless night for Sukho. He felt so lonely and void; he wished that he could end his life. Gazing the sky, all stars seemed telling him they were sad,too. All of them were crying. Then a month passed. As there was no battle, the field hospital was very quite. Sukho spent days without excitement and rather depressed. Then one day he received a mail. It was not from Soonhae he was waiting for but rather from Ninh in Da Lat. "A letter from her?"Excited, he opened the mail and read on Dear Lieutenant Kang; Thank you again. Not only you recued me from the ordeal, you also medically treated me and brought me home safely. My thanks go equally to the other members who accompanied us. Recalling back, past month was so hard for me. It is a miracle that I am still alive. Shamed and traumatized by the experience, my body and soul were at the bottomless pit and all I wanted was to end my life and thus terminate my shameful presence. I am trying very hard to overcome this feeling and you have been a great help. I constantly remembered your kind touch and words of encouragement and finally, I could overcome the thought of self-destruction. I know it was imprudent to sleep on your shoulder who was a stranger but that experience led me into peace of mind and recovery. Though I am the only daughter of powerful general and privileged to attend college but my future is very uncertain. I know the Republic of Vietnam is barely hanging on its nail with the help of US and Korea but the future of this country is pessimistic. LieutenantI have a QuestionAm I really pretty? I was severely molested and can I still be pure? You assured me of my purity and that has been my surest consolation and source of hope. I again thank you very much for calling me a pure virgin. Though other may point fingers on me saying I am dirty, as long as you have a confidence in my purity, I have nothing to fear and you gave me strength to live on my life. My brother is now fully recovered and they removed cast on his wrist. When you have a chance, please visit us at Da Lat. If it is not feasible, a letter from you would be a great support for me. Thank you again. Ninh from Da Lat June, 1968 Reading this letter, his heart was filled with delight as much as excitement. He was waiting for letters from Soonhae but it did not come. Then a letter from Ninh would fill the void in his heart. He sent a somewhat official sounding reply to this letter. Then a few days later, he received another letter from Ninh. Main point was that she was overcoming her insult from her own race with the help of a Korean officer who cared for her. At the end of the letter, she wrote, "Lieutenant Kangif your dear lover girl was violated like me, would you still love her as before?" Sukho wrote back saying, "That happened against the will of her and she is only a victim. So I would love her more and try to support her as much as I can." Then he added, "Ninhyou are pretty and pure. So I plead you to forget your past nightmare and live your life of happy days." A few more correspondences were exchanged and Sukho waned to see her one more time. But this was militaryno personal business was allowed. Then it was a quiet Saturday in mid-July. Sukho was taking a nap in his bunker as there was nothing to do. His nap was interrupted when he was got a call from division commander instructing to be there. When he arrived at the command post, he found the commander talking to a young pretty woman. She wore a white traditional dress known as Ao Daisand fashionable hat. She was Ninh, the daughter of commander of Da Lat region. "Ninh!" Sukho exclaimed with delight. According to the commander, General Le sent his daughter to express his appreciation for the rescue mission. Then he said with laud laughter "Hey Lieutenant Kangthe daughter of the commander risked her safety to see you. She wants a date with you. You are a very lucky guy. I will let you two have good time- so go to officer's club and talk as much as you want. I will grant special leave for you." "Really?" "Surego ahead!""Thank you so much, General!" The general left the room and Sukho turned to Ninh with smile. "You came all the way to see me despite the danger on the route!" "It was my pleasure- I really wanted to see you!" "You wanted see me?" "Yes Lieutenant!" She expressed her appreciation in her letter to him many times but Sukho never expected she would risk her safety to meet him. On the other hand, to Ninh, it was different feeling. She was violated by her own people and she thought she deserved nothing but shameful death but with the help and encouragement of this Korean soldier, she regained her hope and self esteem. Not only was she so thankful,her feeling of despair and hopelessness turned into a feeling of affection toward him. She had a number of Vietnamese young officers who approached her but most of them did because her father was a powerful person in the army. They knew their close relationship with Ninh would bring them more power and favor in their career. Even her father despised them as opportunists. So Ninh never experienced a true love. Due to the safety issue, they did not go out of the military base and stayed at officer's club.This was a day which opened up different perspective and affection toward Ninh. This feeling of affection was much different from what he felt toward Soonhae. That evening, Ninh left the base with the following parting comment "LieutenantI can not hold my tears of gratitude before you. Your kindness and encouragement given a woman like me heals the scar and hurt caused from such an ordeal. Often, I was thinking of committing suicide after being violated by such savages as Viet Cong soldiers who attacked me. But you gave me a hope and reason to live. Lieutenant if I say I love you, you would not believe me. But in my heart, a flame of affection toward you is burning. Whether you pitying me or feel sorry on me, I only have a feeling of love toward you.I have never felt such affection for 21 years of my life. Even if you don't have same feeling on me, I will treasure this feeling of affection throughout my life. Good bye, my dear!" That evening, Sukho could not sleepher words echoed constantly. "A Vietnamese girl loves mebut I had already pledged undying love to Soonhae. I promised to love her and wait for her forever!" His friend, Chong-il who also briefly met her with Sukho noticed his agony. He told Sukho "Wow that girl name Ninh is really beautiful. And looks like she really loves you. I think she loves you with great humility!" "Was that your impression?" "Of course! I just look at her eyes and the eyes tell everything!" "Yes, I think you are right!" Sukho said with a sad smile, as he still wanted to win the heart of Soonhae. Now he had to give up on Soonhae. Ninth Story: In the Valley of Affection A few days later, Sukho get another piece of mail and again this was from Ninh, not